Sure, GSDs are considered to be the bravest dogs on the face of the Earth. But, did you know that they have their own quirky fears?
That’s right! With these medium-sized boys and girls, the word “watchdogs” might just be overemphasized, but not in a bad way.
If you’re a proud German Shepherd owner or you are intending to become one, here’s the list of 15 hilarious things you can expect your medium-sized canines to be afraid of, or at least be suspicious about.
Let’s take a look!
#1 Dog Toys
I’m quite confident that your breeder has already told you to be all about positive reinforcement when it comes to your GSD. And, you already shopped for your dog’s first interactive toys. Am I right?
Well, I don’t mean to spoil your future doggo endeavors or break your illusions, but there might be a slight possibility that your GSD will find his interactive dog toys way too intimidating. Or, at least annoying!
If you have recently walked into a room and seen your GSD fighting with his snuggle puppy or a ball – don’t worry. They’re just having a teeny-tiny argument!
#2 Air Conditioners
Sure, Poodles and Malteses are all about hair drying and fashioning themselves. But, what about GSDs?
Let me be totally honest with you – your German boy is highly likely to freak out even next to a simple air conditioner. These pooches are simply not into any unnatural air flow or movement. Quite the contrary – they like keeping things simple!
So, if you’re coping with your dog acting weird all of a sudden – keep your German Shepherd away from the air conditioner! Otherwise, your doggo might fight off the coolness!
#3 Vacuum Cleaners
Even the best family dogs like GSDs sometimes have their own private battle with a vacuum cleaner.
Is it their high-pitched sound that makes them go crazy? Or, their super-scary, unleashed hose? Who could really say?
If you feel like vacuuming – better take your GSD away. Long hoses and things that suck even the bravest doggos up are not really their thing!
#4 The Dark
Come on, hooman! Like you love dark spaces!
“No, thank you! I would rather stay under my pillow!” is probably something you would hear from your black-and-cream friend.
Sure, both male and female GSDs will go chase after enemies and predators when your life’s on the line, but do they really need to go in a dark house first?
I didn’t think so!
#5 Small Kids
Who are these small creatures, and what are their intentions? And, after all… why do they remind me of my owner?
Yep, your smallest, demanding family members may just be too much for this fearless dog breed. They’re totally cool about resolving the most complex doggo tasks in the world, but when it comes to babies – boy, better not touch!
After all, there might be a destruction button in those chubby little arms!
#6 Cats
Yes, most days, they are good boys that get along with cats just fine! But, what the heck does that purring mean?
Are they growling? Are they mad? How long until they attack me? And, why are they so grumpy?
These are all questions of the utmost importance that need to be evaluated. Otherwise, they will fearlessly walk away and find a comfortable spot under the bed. They’re not afraid. They’re just so comfortable that they can’t go out!
#7 Water
Listen, hooman! If you want a dog that swims and enjoys it – get a Retriever. And, leave me right where the land of sand, soil, and concrete begins.
I mean… is there a doggo manual on how to swim? Sure, they can do it, but why bother? After all – they’re champions of hunting criminals and bad boys, not sharks and dolphins!
#8 Doorbells
Why would you need any sort of security system or a doorbell when you have a German Shepherd? They will spend countless hours at the window waiting for a guest… just don’t set up that high-pitched, noisy thing up there!
To be very clear – a doorbell ringing distracts them from being impeccable watchdogs. Why have two announcements when someone’s coming when you can just have one?
If, however, you must do it – can you at least provide a snooze button that reacts to a tilting head?
#9 Vets
They’re not exactly scared of vets. They just don’t like having their paws, eyes, ears, tongue, body, and tail unnecessarily examined.
They don’t even like those unnecessary rides to the vet or the very idea of getting ready for the vet.
Okay… they’re a little scared!
There’s a tiny problem, though! Even though they are not considered to be displaying the so-called predatory aggression according to Chavez and Opazo 1, they might act undesirable in these kinds of situations.
Consider this to be on the level of a small kid protesting the first visit to the dentist!
#10 Nail Clipping
Do you sometimes have the feeling that your GSD is afraid of everything – even of the simplest nail clipping?
Well, you have to confess that this “complicated procedure” is not the smoothest thing in the world. Am I right?
Nail clipping sometimes has a magical effect on a German Shepherd dog. They hear “clip”, and they’re gone… at least for a couple of hours.
#11 Grooming
Howlston, we have a problem! This man right here is trying to cut my fur!
Not only do they have a problem with grooming, but according to Houpt 2, they will do a lot to assert dominance and dominate you, even in this process. How? Simply by not letting you do it!
As much as they’re sometimes afraid of vacuuming or hair drying – they’re afraid of grooming, too! So, back off before I chew off your brush!
#12 Leaves
What’s moving below that tree? OMG, there’s like a million little intruders trying to break into our house!
I’m a little bit embarrassed to reveal this secret to you, but these full-blooded boys and girls might have a slight problem with leaves.
Either they will spend night and day trying to scare off every single leaf in the back yard or the leaves will scare off them. There is no third option, really.
#13 Shadows
Okay, they can put a paw on you, but they cannot really put a paw on your moving shadow? How scary is that? You must confess… a lot!
It’s not that they’re really scared of a shadow – they just don’t like having an argument with something that isn’t even real. So, give them a break, hooman. They’re not exactly Harry Pawters!
#14 Butterflies
How often do you see your German Shepherd fighting off a cute little butterfly? Well, sometimes the struggle is in small things.
Once they land on their sleeping nose or in their bowl of food, they’re no longer butterflies. They’re enemies from which they need to run, and run fast! I mean, if they didn’t intend to eat their food or bite them on the nose, then why did they even land?
A warning: GSD barking, howling, and growling incoming!
#15 Baths
Okay, to be totally clear with you, hooman – For us GSDs, grooming, bathing, and swimming are basically the same thing. So, please knock it off!
I know – in order for your GSD to live in an apartment, you need to set an occasional bath, especially after a long, exhaustive training session. But, what can you do? These medium-sized pooches will rather go to war than go in the water?
Final Word
Dear GSD enthusiast, I hope you had a good laugh or at least a little bit of joy reading this sassy article.
Sure, GSDs, just like all dog breeds, have their own real fears and real phobias, but these fifteen are just too quirky to be true.
They can annoy them, occupy them, or make them busy for a bit, but GSDs are just too good of warriors to be worried about butterflies and leaves.
Read next: Do German Shepherds Smell? All On Bad Odor, And How To Help
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